Learning a Valuable Lesson About Being “THE BEST”
Posted by: Emily in professional developmentSo I read Seth Godin’s new book, The Dip the other day. Like most of the things he writes, it’s a little gem filled with common sense ideas that make you say “duh” and “AHA!” both at the same time.
I am glad to have read it, as I took away a powerful reminder of something I have a real tendency to forget. Like a lot of things, it’s something I know, but sometimes need to be reminded about. And this book did that for me. Here it is:
Not everyone I deal with intends to be the best in the world - not should they.
Like a lot of the people I know read this blog, I am one of those really supermotivated self-starters who doesn’t do anything in life without the full expectation (realistic or not) that I will succeed remarkably. You know, the old if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right…. only taken to a completely new level. I expect myself to succeed, to be a stand out, to make every one of my endeavors brilliant. I call it motivated. My husband says I’m a workaholic. Can anyone relate? 
So that is a big part of my persona at work. Those off you who have encountered me professionally would, I’m sure agree. I assume that the task at hand will be a huge success and will do anything to make it so. Whatever I do must be the best I can possibly make it. I just don’t know any other way.
The thing is, I sometimes forget that not everyone thinks that way. As Seth Godin says in The Dip:
People settle. They settle for less than they are capable of. Organizations settle, too. For good enough instead of best in the world.
Thing is, as a trainer, I have to keep this in mind more. Not everyone comes to the table with the expectation that they, or the project we’re working on will be the “best in the world.” Could it? Of course! But that’s not the way a lot of people (most people??) think.
They come into the training session wanting to learn just enough to get by, because that is how they live their lives. It’s totally understandable because this is the safe way, the easy way. I mean, isn’t it a lot easier in LibraryWorld to get a job, do a good enough job to keep it (maybe even an above average job), and then just wait for someone to retire? Maybe I’m just beating my head against the wall and making myself miserable by thinking that I (and my organization and our libraries) can do better than that. It would be so much safer to never stick my neck out, to settle for good enough all the time and forget about reaching for exceptional. I’ll tell you, I’d have a lot fewer sleepless nights and nerve-wracking meetings that way! Trying to be a superstar is hard work!
This doesn’t mean I should let the folks I work with settle… or at least not all of them. I’m the person I am, and that’s why I have the job I do. Pushing people to do better is my middle name. But I need to remember where these folks are coming from. In order to motivate them, I need to be reminded that not everyone even WANTS to be the best. It’s too much pressure, too much risk. For most people, good enough is good enough.
I’ll never forget the first semester I taught a college course. I was so nervous when I gave out the grades at the end of the semester. I mean, I couldn’t just give everyone A’s, after all, and what was I going to say when the students came and complained (as I figured they were bound to - I would have freaked out not to get an A!!). The next day, a student knocked on my office door. I cringed and thought “oh, here it comes,” since I had given him a B. To my surprise, he thanked me for a great course, and seemed quite pleased with his grade. It was my first real look into the psyche of people who, while not underachievers, aren’t overachievers either. Not a single person in the class complained about their grade.
The world (and that includes LibraryWorld!) needs people who don’t necessarily want to be the best. In fact, that’s very beneficial to those of us who do. But I feel like we can motivate them, maybe not to want to stick their necks out to be THE BEST, but to be a little bit better than good enough. And I really think the first step in that, at least for me, is in understanding where they’re coming from, and that the possibility of being exceptional may not be on their agenda in the first place.
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August 1st, 2007 at 9:35 pm
I’ve been thinking along these lines too. At my little library, there are plenty of people who are perfectly content with “the way it’s always been.” The way I see it, we are hired by our libraries for the unique contributions we can make as professionals. I don’t want to think that a master’s degree would be required (for many of us) if the expectation was for us to obediently follow a predetermined set of directions for the way we approach our work. Granted, some administrators, boards, or colleagues would be more comfortable with this approach. But I’m answering to more than my local status quo–like a larger set of professional values and ethics, and the drive to be a steward of the community we exist to serve. To live up to this, we need to be convinced that we have it in us to make a unique contribution. It’s up to each one of us to be great. I identify with your frustration as someone who won’t accept anything less from myself but the best I can do, because not everyone believes they can define their own greatness. I definitely don’t have the solution, but frustrations aside, I’m happy to be one of the people who tries to get the ball rolling and help others see that they can push too.
August 1st, 2007 at 10:54 pm
[…] those of us who may not be driven to be the best at something as inferior. In this vein, I found this post by Emily Clasper at Library Revolution to be a bit condescending. Emily writes: The world (and that […]
August 2nd, 2007 at 11:00 am
I think there’s a lot of room between being Best in the World and “settling.” I come to work ready to do a good job, but I have other things in my life as well and don’t let my job consume me. Being a workaholic, in my opinion, is really putting all your eggs in one basket and is not necessarily a healthy way to live life. Other parts of life get neglected and if you lose your job, you’ve lost everything. I also think a lot of people excel at extracurriculars - parenting, writing, etc - but still need to pay their bills. I don’t think this means, as this post suggests, that they are living their lives the “safe” or “easy” way, just that most of their concentration is focused on something else.
For me, it is enough to do a good job. Expecting to always be the best is a setup for disappointment. That attitude is (to me) competitive and unrealistic. That doesn’t mean I don’t work hard or put a lot of effort into my endeavors, but there are many aspects to my life, some of which are more important than my job. It is unfair to make assumptions about peoples’ values based only on what you see them do at work.
August 2nd, 2007 at 11:39 am
HI Linda, my point really isn’t whether it’s right or wrong to be the way you are - some of us are wired to be super motivated and competitive, and others are not. We need both types, and something different is going to be right for every individual. What I really want to get at is that I sometimes need to remember just that. Expecting everyone to be just like me and completely committed to always going above and beyond no matter what. What a world that would be if we were all like that!
As someone who works with a lit of people and has a job that requires I motivate people to learn and change, I need to keep that in mind while working with people. It’s all about understanding that everyone has different motivations and I can’t have unrealistic expectations. Even if I think they are settling for something that’s “good enough” rather than “the best”, I need to understand that sometimes that is OK (as you point out - being like that all the time can drive you nuts). But I can hopefully use that understanding of where my colleagues are coming from to motivate them a little.
For me, it’s all about getting into the heads of the people I’m trying to teach and motivate on a day to day basis. It’s not necessarily about judging them, although I can see how it might be taken that way. It’s really more about understanding people who are different.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m an overachiever at everything, not just work. I’m sure I’m due for a total meltdown at some point, but that’s just the way I’m wired.
August 2nd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Thank you for bringing Seth Godin’s book THE DIP to our attention, it sounds like a good read and it’s definitely on my ‘to read list’. Admittedly, I haven’t read the book yet, but I’d like to get back to the idea of when to quit vs when to stick it out. In a business or professional situation this can come down to the question of the culture of the organization one is working within. “Can I be productive and satisifed in this organizational culture?” is a key component of career decision-making. Often the answer is a conditional yes, the condition being that priorities and goals must be scrutinized and shuffled. This is the most basic sort of thinking out of the box. By that I mean to suggest, “damn the job description, just do it.” IT being defined as the best you can do. Changing a corporate culture is difficult, and may not be worth the effort. However, it may be unnecessary to even attempt that, if worth-while/purpose-full goals can be achieved in spite of the culture.
As I read these posts, it seems that Emily is trying to reengineer her own work culture in such a way that reasonable goals are achieved and progress is made by all, and the concept deserves a hearing. The fact that she admits that there are differences in values between her and various other individuals is merely a realistic assessment of the hand she has been dealt.
August 2nd, 2007 at 8:42 pm
[…] read Emily Clasper’s post yesterday about overachievers, underachievers and motivation and found that some of what she wrote made me very uncomfortable. I wasn’t quite sure how to […]
August 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Simply the best…
Emily wants to be the best. At everything. It seems to be working for her, and I’m happy for her for that. (I worry about her some, too, but I’m an old guy — I worry about all the kids…
August 4th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
The “best” at what, exactly?
This question matters alot. Some people focus on doing things right; others on doing the right things. Either can lead to its own type of disaster. The former by wasting resources doing the wrong things; the latter by missing opportunities.
In fact, people who fret over the “A” often have me wondering if there is some big picture thinking ability around. An “A” might mean lots to universities, but it means crapola most everywhere else.
The division of labor matters as well. Some people want to put their “A” effort into subjects most relevant to them. That’s probably a good thing, and overall it does improve things over an organization. The risk, of course, is the moral question of what specialization does to human beings in the long run. You can’t be too much a person if you are the “best” at (say) cataloguing and nothing else. Even Adam Smith recognized this as a moral problem with the capitalist economy.
I guess the concern as always is whether “the best” really means “the best” to all parties involved or just “the best at what matters to me.” The former scenario is hard to measure, but there are times when it’s pretty obvious. The latter, in my view, is much more common and too much fist pumping in that realm ends up appearing obnoxious.
August 5th, 2007 at 10:56 am
One of the lessons I had to learn in life was that I could not always do my best at everything. Sometimes you have to pick and choose which things will get more energy and attention, and which things you just have to get done adequately. The emphasis changes at different periods in one’s life, as well. There are times when people are more focused on their career, and times when you feel you are just keeping up, because outside activities (family, civic or volunteer activities or a “cause”) are taking up most of your resources. The mix shifts throughout life, and sometimes can get skewed and you get some kind of wake-up call, and you have to refocus or adjust your priorities.
The second thing I’ve had to learn is that many people do not latch on to something the first time they are exposed to it. I find myself getting frustrated when I bring something up or alert colleagues or staff about something, and it completely falls under their radar, and then they will hear it again from someone else, and it catches hold and they are now interested. I have to remind myself that perhaps it wasn’t relevant to them the first time and now it is, or that perhaps the repetition sparked some kind of synapse in the brain, or … whatever. I also have to remember that the same thing probably happens to me. We are all exposed to so many concepts, ideas, tools, technologies, and pieces of information that we can’t possibly process them all fully, so sometimes it’s only the second or third time that something comes up that it really sticks.
The third thing that I try to keep in mind is that the world is full of “average” people. Most people didn’t get straight A’s in school, and they don’t spell very well, and they just want to have a nice job, raise their kids, and make ends meet, with a little left over to go on vacation or get a new car once in a while or pursue a special interest or hobby. These are the people who make our society “run.” I realize that this is a sweeping generalization, and that people are individuals. It also doesn’t mean they don’t want to learn or are not interested in new things, but as you and others have pointed out, it all comes down to motivation. If a new skill is deemed “necessary” for their job, then they will usually do their best, but if it doesn’t seem relevant, they think it’s a waste of time.
August 7th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
[…] Last week I came across a post by Emily Clasper about her life as an overachiever and her realization that not everyone shares her passion to be the best. I really appreciated her enthusiasm and her positvie approach. But, like some others that read her […]
August 9th, 2007 at 9:36 am
I am a spectacular underachiever, you might say that I overachieve at performing under expectations. My illness (bipolar disorder I, and other stuff) complicates things quite a bit- the only time I was truly driven to give my all was when I was manic. Attempts to hold full-time jobs have failed because I just can’t work under pressure. The pressure is worse when you have to juggle many doctor appointments and illness mangement. I’d imagine that a single parent or someone with an ailing spouse or even a person with a long commute also face additional pressures. For many of us, work is simply not top of mind.
Right now I work part-time and I have given up striving to do anything in life. Again, the medication I take makes me somewhat dull and apathetic.
I still feel deep within me there is the ability to achieve and to work hard at something, anything, but I am afraid to go to that place. No one expects much of me either…sometimes I feel I am waiting for someone in a leadership role who “gets” me.
I think good management and good leadership requires empathy for individuals who are different and the unique reasons why we are not A students.
August 16th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
This discussion has put me in mind of an old nugget “good better best, never let it rest, till your good is better and your better best” I credit my mother with hard wiring that into my head. I think it had something to do with learning to sew, but that’s another story. I certainly have incorporated that simple saying into my life, but always take it to mean that it’s MY ‘good, better, best’ and that might not be the same as someone else’s.
I had one of those wake-up moments about motivation and what is ‘good enough’ when taking a 16 week Javascript class. The instructor cautioned that some of us would actually know how to write javascript by the end of the class, the others would know what it could do, but wouldn’t be able write it ourselves. And that was ok with him as long as we kept up with the class and tried to understand what was going on. Of course, I was determined to be in the first group and learn everything I could about javascript, until I realized that there was no way I could find time for 15 hours of homework a week. I accepted that being in the second group was fine. I couldn’t do everything and something had to give.
When I’m teaching now, I realize there are all sorts of people in my classes and whatever they want to get out of my class is fine with me as long as they give it a try. I do try to motivate them to have fun and learn what they can. I’m lucky, most people are in my classes because they choose to be there, but I don’t feel at fault if they really aren’t motivated. For me, that’s an issue between the learner and their supervisor. If they don’t want to learn, and learning is part of their job, then the supervisor needs to decide what to do with that person.
On the other hand, if they’re lost and want to give up because they don’t understand something, that IS my problem! And I tell people that - if they don’t understand something, they shouldn’t beat themselves up for not understanding and they shouldn’t give up. It’s my job to make sure they get something out of the class. Everyone in a class brings their own story with them - they may fall asleep because they were up all night, they may need to leave early for work or family reasons, they may have health problems which hinder their learning that day. I try to go with the flow and encourage everyone to do the best they can that day. And if my classes don’t go perfectly, I try to take my own advice and learn from what went wrong, but not beat myself up for things not being perfect.
August 17th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
this reminds me of a movie, not sure, maybe Middle Age Crazy (bad movie; don’t rent it), where the guy gives a speech to a graduating class and tells them, “there’s not enough future for everybody.” I love that message. I’ve modified it into something that sounds like, “when you reach an impasse: maybe you’re not supposed to go any further.” McDonald’s in number one for a reason. Perfection isn’t normal. Sure, it’s necessary for some to pursue excellence, but everyone doesn’t have to. Some people stop to smell the roses then stay there.
August 30th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
[…] blogs I’d like to read. What got me hooked on her blog was a very thoughtful response to a Library Revolution post on overachievers, underachievers, and motivation - which had me thinking about the debate all day. […]